Iris Lorraine

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So when I mentioned that I had less than 5 weeks til baby, apparently what I really meant was that I had less than 5 days… I never would have guessed our little girl would surprise us and come so early but she did.

Iris Lorraine joined our family at 4:38pm on Saturday, April 5th, 2014 at just 36 weeks gestation. She was 19.5in long and weighed in at 7lb .5oz.

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So many thoughts and emotions have passed through my head and heart over the past few weeks that it’s hard to decide where to begin her birth story…

We had planned to spend Saturday afternoon down at the Horseshoe Casino so I could get a GF Cheeseburger in Paradise from Margaritaville and maybe win big on the slot machines. And then Sunday was the shower Mark’s family was throwing for us. But we didn’t do any of that — instead we had a baby.

My water broke around 7am Saturday morning. I wasn’t even totally convinced that was what had happened but paired with a few other signs, it was enough for me to call my doctor around 8am. There is a test they do at your 36 week appointment but since I hadn’t had that appointment yet, they had to assume I would test positive and would need to be treated with antibiotics to be safe. Because of this, the midwife said we should get to the hospital within an hour so they could start the medicine if I were really in labor. Mark shut down the laundry we had started, I took a quick shower, threw together the hospital bag that had been on my TO DO list for a while and we headed out the door. I didn’t even have time for my 36 week bump selfie!

My contractions on the drive over were about 12 minutes apart. Also on the drive, we decided for sure on her name. We never really had another front runner so it wasn’t difficult. And all throughout my pregnancy, I kept getting signs that pointed to Iris — perhaps the subject for another post.

IMG_20140405_113728128_600 I think we got to the hospital around 9:20am. I spent a decent amount of time in triage (like a holding tank where they decide whether you graduate to labor and delivery or get sent home). They confirmed my water had broken. I was 1cm dilated. Off I went to have a baby. Um, seriously??

The contractions were 2 minutes apart and getting closer. I also had a really (not) awesome one that lasted 6 minutes. I was 4cm dilated when I told Mark I thought I needed the epidural. He questioned whether it was too soon. He later said it didn’t look like I was in that much pain. (But that’s because I’m awesome and got through it with breathing and not screaming or anything dramatic.) Honestly I somewhat doubted myself too because I really had not been in labor that long. But once another one hit, my doubt went away. Thank goodness I ignored Mark (heh) and relayed my request to the nurse because the “5 min” the anesthesiologist would need getting to my room was really like 45 minutes. By the way, I highly recommend epidurals.

When the nurse went to check again, her response was, “Whoah” … pause … “You are fully dilated. You are going to have this baby within the hour.” And I did. At 4:38pm, after just 5 minutes of pushing, Iris was born. Everything was kind of a blur — I still couldn’t even believe we were there. She was crying. She was on my chest. She was getting weighed and measured. She was big and healthy. She was on me to nurse. We did skin to skin. They moved us to our postpartum room. My family did the wave as my wheelchair passed by them. Both families got to hold and love on her. The 36 week selfie wasn’t just me and the bump — it was us as a new family.

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It was perfect. Until it wasn’t.

Mark and I continued to hold and soothe her after our families left. We noticed her breathing seemed to accelerate and taper off and was sometimes paired with little grunts. We didn’t attribute this to anything but her being a newborn with erratic newborn breathing patterns making newborn noises. But we told our nurse who thought it best to send her up to the nursery for observation. That was around 3am and they said she’d probably be back down in our room by 8am. Around 6:15am the hospital pediatrician paid us a visit to tell us she’d been moved to the Special Care Nursery and wouldn’t be coming back down at 8am. I don’t remember the specifics of everything else he said or really even the events of the rest of that day. But I do remember how my heart broke when I saw my little girl laying on her belly strapped down and attached to so many support machines. We couldn’t even see her face anymore. That was a really bad day.

Our little perfect baby had fluid on her lungs/pneumonia. They had some possible explanations how it happened but couldn’t ever say for sure. They warned us that she’d probably get worse before getting better. I was glad to have that insight because watching her numbers decline was pretty devastating. A ‘5-7 day’ estimated hospital stay became a ‘for sure 7 days’ which became ‘more like 10 days’.

The only thing I was able to do for her was pump. Because we were separated, the lactation people were having me pump every three hours so I would have a supply when she was ready to nurse. It was rough. The supply was meager — literally just drops in a syringe — but every few hours Mark or I delivered what I had to her room in the nursery.

I was officially discharged from the hospital on Monday but they have this amazing program where they allow parents of babies in Special Care to stay in their rooms for free as long as they didn’t need the space. We managed to stay an extra two nights before getting evicted. The days after that were mostly spent trying to get out of the house and to the hospital as quickly as possible, hoping to catch the doctor during his morning rounds and then camping out til 10 or 11pm. A couple times Mark went out to run some errands and pick up supplies that we had not yet acquired — like um, a carseat?

Tuesday began her slow upswing. By Wednesday, I finally got to hold her for a few minutes. She was tethered to all her machines still but at least I got to hold her. Slowly the machines and gear were switched and detached — the CPAP (this was kind of like a swim cap that covered her entire head but left her eyes and mouth exposed) was traded for less invasive oxygen tubes, the jaundice light and eye mask were swapped for a lighted blanket and eventually stopped, the IV migrated from one tiny arm to the other to her head to her foot until she went off fluids and was unhooked except when dispensing the antibiotics. When she went off fluids, she went on a feeding tube. That was removed late in the week and Mark got to feed her a bottle. Each day had its own small victories. I think the biggest turn around for me was finally getting to see her face again once the CPAP was gone.

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By the weekend, she was off all support systems — she still had the monitoring devices hooked up to track her heartrate and oxygen levels but she was done with her antibiotics and was breathing and eating on her own. She still had to be monitored for 48 hours so Saturday and Sunday were like parenting 101 as we prepped for a Monday departure. We handled the bottles and diapers, watched the mandatory videos and quizzed the nurses in hopes of retaining some of their wisdom for when we were on our own.

IMG_20140414_122947531_600Finally, on April 14th after 10 days in the hospital, we brought our tiny daughter home where she belongs. The past week at home hasn’t been without it’s challenges (um, wha? she’s nocturnal? Damn. Pumping every 3 hours is kinda exhausting) but it is heaven compared to the previous week.

I just want to take some time to mention all the love and just pure human kindness we have been shown the past few weeks. Our families have been awesome — always concerned and wanting updates, bringing us food and provisions or washing baby clothes (yeeeeah, I hadn’t washed any yet…), watching our dog, and even loving Iris enough to stay away when she was too sick for all the stimulation. We tried to keep up with texts and inquiries for updates as much as we could — it was awesome to feel how concerned everyone was. Packages arrived at the house and others were brought to our room. People at our work and my mom’s school were praying and thinking of us. Even people we don’t personally know were praying for ‘baby Iris’. Through the magic of facebook and a phone call to our nurse, a friend with ‘connections’ got me hooked up with extra supplies. And after we were officially discharged but still staying at the hospital, the housekeeper kept cleaning our room even though she didn’t have to and technically wasn’t supposed to (they mark your door with a sign so housekeeping, nurses and food people skip over you). She actually cleaned it better than it had been cleaned when I was a patient. I told her she made me want to cry and she told us to get out of the room before she started crying. We found the delivery nurse several times at Iris’ bedside. She checked on her daily and gave us hugs when she saw us. The entire staff was amazing, especially the doctors and nurses in Special Care — you could tell they really loved what they went to work to do. We never doubted that our daughter was in the best hands.

Her quilt has the wrong month stitched on it and we had to cancel/reschedule the baby shower but those things don’t really matter. This tiny human has already opened my eyes to just how kind people can be and to how much you can love someone you just met. And I guess she’s already telling me to quit trying to plan everything out. Oy — this parenting thing is going to be interesting! I don’t know why she decided to show up so early but really that’s just an extra month we get to be her parents. And for that, I am grateful.

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Here is the rainbow I’ve been praying for
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun shinin’ day

— Otis Redding

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If she thinks she can cry her way out of blog photos, she’s got a long road ahead of her  😉

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Door sign compliments of Amanda’s third graders.

7 thoughts on “Iris Lorraine

  1. Sarah

    First of all, I am really impressed you were able to put this post together being the mom of a newborn. Second, thank you for sharing your story, I loved reading about it. I was sadly distracted the last time we were able to chat. I am so happy for you and Mark. 2014 is going to be an amazing year for you. Love you guys.

    Reply
    1. Jamie

      Thanks! I started it sometime last week. Once I discovered I could blog and pump I was more motivated to finish it. That discovery also made the night sessions more tolerable. I tried to use your suggestion of using Pixel as the size comparison ‘object’ but I could barely get photos of Iris without making her too angry. I think I’ll need Mark to help me wrangle the two of them together.

      Reply
  2. emily claire

    Oh, Jamie! I’m so happy for you, and I’m so sorry little Iris had such a rough start. The staff at Bethesda (that’s where you were, isn’t it?) is simply amazing and so incredibly caring. I don’t think you could have been in a better place. Iris is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Then again, she has you and Mark for parents, so how couldn’t she be? If you need anything…anything at all…please don’t hesitate to let me know. I can’t wait to meet her and see you again. Thank you for sharing her birth story with the world.

    Reply
  3. Becca

    I’ve been waiting for this post and am impressed it came so soon! I loved reading it and am excited to chat with you very soon about it all. You and Mark are wonderful parents and I am so excited that Iris is here and home and with her family! Congratulations!

    Reply
  4. Amanda

    I love that Iris does things on her own time! She’s already showing us who she is . . . one very tough little girl! Hopefully she keeps the drama at bay for a little bit. I’m so glad that she is at home with you and Mark where she belongs (which happens to be a convenient location for Auntie Amanda to drop by and get some hugs, kissing, bonding, and spoiling in). I’m looking forward to many more blogs that will include your newest toy (maybe not so often yet). Way to be awesome parents! Iris is a lucky girl!

    Reply
  5. Jessica

    You are blogging ALREADY! Wow, Mama! That is super impressive! Thank you for sharing Iris’ birth story on here and so quickly. You are already such a wise mommy and I love how you have found the gems of parenting. There are so many that words cannot even explain.

    Reply
  6. Ellen, Southernmost Iris Lover

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I love her! I’m so happy for you and Mark – you will be AWESOME parents!

    Also, I’ve been trying to hold back on constant texting and demanding of pictures and such because I know that for now every moment is best spent with little Iris, not texting Aunt Ellen who lives allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way in freakin Florida. However, with each day I think of you and my need for pictures grows so while i’m sure the middle of the night pumpings kinda suck for you I’m kind of glad for them ( I know that’s kinda wrong BUT I LOVE BLOG/FACEBOOK/GOOGLE HANGOUT/INSTAGRAM UPDATES!) I do indeed vote for a Pixel and Iris photo sesh though I’m sure it will be exhausting with two demanding diva’s on your hands! It will be like the season of American Idol with Mariah Carey and Nikki Minaj that I never watched but heard about!

    In addition, in case you were holding back, I will NOT be upset if my phone blows up at 3am because I am receiving texts, pics, videos, etc.

    Reply

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